Making new friends | Advice from an extrovert
5 WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS WHEN YOU’RE NEW
You just got into town. You just sat down in class. You just clocked in at work. Your new, it sucks, and nobody cares.
Few things are perhaps as difficult as the first few weeks or months in a new place where you don’t know anyone. Sure enough, you will eventually make friends, but even the most friendly, popular people have trouble finding something to do in a new town on their own. People tend towards being pretty clique-y. Here are 5 ways you can avoid the natural waiting period and find friends right away when you’re new.
Talk to everyone
This is easily the best way to meet people and make friends. When you talk to as many people as you can, every day, sooner or later you will start finding like-minded people, it’s inevitable! Don’t over think it, just talk to them like you already know them. Getting a meal over the counter at McDonald’s? Ask them how their day is going while you wait. Ask about all that crazy fast food equipment you see in the back. What’s their favorite meal on the menu? Make it about them. People love to talk about themselves.
If you’re so bashful and shy you can’t look someone in the face and smile, then you are bringing your loneliness on yourself! No one likes someone who is fidgety and sketch. I’m not saying you should have a stare-down with someone you just met, but just make sure you periodically make solid eye contact, and keep it cool. And smile. No one wants the weight of another depressed friend.
Hygiene and Appearance
You may want to invest in a little self-worth. Hygiene isn’t very expensive or time-consuming. You can pretty much buy anything you need at the dollar store, and if you don’t take care of your looks and how you smell then you’ll have a lot of good, open, free time… alone with Netflix… and you’ll be alone, so all alone. So go buy some mouthwash, head & shoulders, and a new outfit and you’ll have a head start.
Reveal Something Personal
When starting up conversation and engaging in small talk, try revealing something a little quirky and personal about yourself. Like maybe you like to dance, but because you look like the spilled jello at last thanksgiving, you only dance in the shower. Or maybe you binge watch “Friends” on Thursday nights. Showing a little vulnerability is always good at getting a laugh out of someone and getting them to share something about themselves with you too.
At the end of a conversation, always suggest to hang out casually. Don’t forget this! This is how you get people’s contact info and start having friends in a new place. Say something like “Well that’s pretty cool you play guitar too. We should jam sometime” or “Thats pretty neat you know all the best food joints around here. We should go check some of those out sometime,” and then always, always get their number or other contact info.
This is how a new kid on the block makes friends; be friendly to everyone, talk with everyone, be open, and be brave, It’ll pay off. Soon you’ll be hanging out and watching movies with “The Crew”. It doesn’t take being popular or being a “people” person, it just takes opening up to others.